The 4B Movement Arrives in the US: Effects on lesbians and the Women’s Liberation Movement

RESOLVED, that lesbians have the right to create and maintain lesbian-only spaces;

-The Lesbian Bill Of Rights

The heaviness of the air that has settled over the conversation in mainstream women’s and feminist spaces since the election of Donald Trump is palpable. To be sure, there are good reasons for that: It is essentially a pipe dream that the destruction of women’s reproductive care will see any improvement at the federal level under the Trump administration, and that destruction will likely get worse. This administration may also move to restrict no-fault divorce, which helps women escape from marriages to abusive men.

But we think that prospects are sunnier for lesbians than the mainstream media would have us believe – not so much because those media outlets don’t see it, but because they do, and would prefer to keep the picture dark.

The election has resulted in a new wave of discussion about female separatism, unlike anything we have seen in this century in the West. Presently it is flying under the name 4B, which made the jump across the Pacific after the election. A brainchild of South Korean feminists, adherents of the 4B movement vow not to engage in dating, sex, or marriage with men; or having children (in Korean, the words for saying no to these things all start with a “b” sound). Some additional practices followed by some adherents include avoiding use of beauty products and sexist media, and supporting other women in every possible arena. 

For context, the current fertility rate in South Korea is a stunning 0.78, less than half the rate required to maintain a stable population size, so naturally the government is in a panic. It has dropped like a stone in the course of only a couple of decades. And while the official narrative of the South Korean mainstream is that separatist sentiment, and even feminism more broadly, is a fringe ideology having no presence in the real world (despite the spectacularly crashing fertility rate), being an open feminist in South Korea often results in persecution and job loss. If the clandestine South Korean feminists who occasionally pop up on Western social media are to be believed, 4B is larger than their government leads us to believe — and hides behind cryptic responses like “just because” on surveys asking women why they remain single and childless. Surveys of Korean women also reveal that while fewer women openly claim the title of feminist than at other times in the past few decades, their disinterest in involvement with men continues.

What is so different about 4B, compared to other feminist campaigns in recent times, is that it is not a protest. It does not aim to change men. It makes no demands on men. It does not care whether it is good or bad for the larger male-dominated society and its “need” for more people. It has no end date. It also doesn’t demand every woman join, or agree — it is a personal decision. 4B is intended solely to benefit the women who choose it. It exists not as a political negotiation strategy, but as an alternative lifestyle proposing to women that they can live a good life without the presence of men. It proposes, against “inclusive” liberal sensibilities, that in fact women lose nothing by decentering men completely. On the contrary it can give them an improved quality of life, which is frankly a forgone conclusion at this point, whether or not anyone likes it.

And while it is not an explicitly lesbian movement, 4B discussions are dotted with examples of women stating they have found within it the freedom to look to other women for romantic and/or sexual fulfillment, and that those relationships have been more fulfilling than their relationships with men were. If the proposition is that men offer nothing of unique value to women, then naturally some women who were previously too economically strapped to give consideration to their romantic and sexual desires will eventually reach the same conclusion once their time and attention is freed up to consider it.

Predictably, 4B has been met with immediate, sharp reproach from Western news outlets. A major prong of this attack has been to underplay the popularity of the movement, despite obvious evidence of its virality on any social media site or search trend page. Media outlets have also aimed to discourage women by claiming movements like 4B cannot result in a fulfilling life for women, and will not fix the men of our society, or make women more respected by men. Of course, this is completely missing the point. The point is that a growing cohort of women no longer believe men offer positivity to their lives, or see it as their job to fix men, and they therefore don’t care whether men respect them.

Conservatives and liberals have their own reasons for joining in uncomfortable alliance against 4B. Conservatives tend to oppose women living outside the patriarchal family structure. It is no surprise that they would oppose any movement that seeks to promote women living woman-centered lives. Liberals, captured by patriarchal transgender ideology as they are, have figured out that 4B is a sex-based movement, since one of its focuses is the way childbirth affects women in patriarchy. Since only men make sperm and only women can give birth, self-ID is meaningless in this context. All men are excluded from 4B regardless of what gender they claim to be, both as participants and as sexual prospects. The complaints of “transphobia” against women adopting 4B have already begun.

But what is interesting about this response is how closely it mirrors the response to lesbians that we have seen in the past during repressive times: They pretend we simply don’t exist, and that trying to insist that we do will only lead to lesbians’ unhappiness. Although frequently abused on a social level, lesbians have seldom been the focus of as much organized, institutional persecution as gay men; denial of lesbianism (lesbian erasure) has historically been the preferred tactic. We think there’s a good reason for that.

Lesbianism represents an idea that is so threatening to patriarchy that it shrinks from even acknowledging it: the idea that women can thrive in every way without a man protecting and promoting them. Another patriarchal concern is that women can and do recognize or even cultivate their love for women at any point in life. While many lesbians are early articulators, as we’ve written about before, there are also many women who become lesbians later in life through various paths, having previously identified as straight or bisexual.

4B may be the social consciousness we needed to develop more spaces for women exploring their same-sex attraction.

A self-aware lesbian who has decentered men accordingly is the closest status that exists to a total loss for patriarchy. It is nearly impossible to pull a woman back from that conclusion since patriarchy has nothing to offer in response, and it tends to lose her allegiance permanently. Her visible example can also awaken other women to the fact that they don’t need to rely on men to live their lives, whether or not they identify themselves as lesbians.

The only real tool patriarchy has to stop this attrition of compliant women is to try to prevent them from knowing that loving other women, or even just separating from men, is an option at all.  Examples of this strategy include the gaslighting of bisexual women’s same-sex attraction, the erasure or reframing of lesbians and lesbian community, the dogmatic denial of sexual fluidity, and, when all else fails, the forced introduction of costumed men into lesbian spaces. The more burdened a woman is by the structures of patriarchy, of which marriage and children are often the heaviest, the less likely she is to feel able to alter her life in response to her discovery of her love for women.¹ 4B relieves women of these burdens, and frees those who wish to pursue a love of women.

A particularly strong feature of 4B is that it doesn’t require patriarchy’s acknowledgement. In fact, its insistence on ignoring that the movement exists may be helpful to us. In some ways, invisibility is preferable in interesting times such as these. Let the men who want the spotlight play out their public battles.

As stated, 4B is not a protest. It’s a way of life. Women practicing 4B often don’t talk about it publicly at all, and are not necessarily encouraged to, because the point isn’t to confront men. The point is to live a free life, either alone or with other women.

Lesbians are a natural friend to 4B, because we are also engaging in our lives on our own terms, without the need to discuss it with men, either for permission or confrontation.

This focus on separatism as a lifestyle, either intentional or simply as a byproduct of lesbianism, that can be practiced quietly may benefit the longevity of the 4B movement, because women practicing 4B are hard to spot unless they openly identify themselves. This makes them a more difficult target for patriarchy’s only tool, preemptive discouragement. Women’s liberation does not need men’s consent or participation. Women are becoming increasingly aware that the quest to change, improve, mother, or educate men has done nothing for women’s or lesbians’ well-being, but women forging forward regardless of men’s protestation has done a lot.

Because the 4B movement is inherently a sex-based movement that excludes all males regardless of identity, it dovetails well with the rising backlash against transgender ideology and its incursions by men and boys into women’s spaces and sports. While there continues to be a struggle in our future for women’s liberation from patriarchy, discussions of women’s sex-based rights are now appearing more openly, even from Democrats, who can no longer deny that their anti-woman transgender ideology is costing them elections.

The quiet rise of a separatist movement that centers sex-based reality and proliferates invisibly may ultimately be the key we needed to have the breathing room, tools, and solidarity to rebuild a culture of lesbian spaces, and a freer social climate for women to explore and choose their love for women in a patriarchal system that they are increasingly aware offers them nothing.

While we’re sure the coming years will be dangerous, we are hopeful for the future of lesbians. For now, being ignored as we reconnect with other women as the transgender lobby loses its grip may benefit us more than erasure harms us.

The WDI USA Lesbian Caucus 
Lauren Levey, coordinator 
KC Bianco 
Mary Ellen Kelleher 
Katherine Kinney

1. The WDI USA Lesbian Caucus will discuss in more detail why and how lesbians pose an existential threat to patriarchy in an upcoming article. ↩︎

Subscribe