As soon as a woman calls herself a lesbian she faces unique challenges. Radical feminists see those challenges as originating in patriarchy, and enforced through sexist culture, religion, familial pressures, and even lesbian culture.
WDI USA’s Lesbian Caucus hosts a weekly online coming-out group for women who are newly lesbians, women who are wondering if they might be lesbians, and women who would like to be lesbians. This online space allows women to discuss with each other, as peers, the challenges and questions being raised in their lives by lesbianism. Facilitation by a more experienced lesbian is provided, but is minimal. The topics and discussion are driven by the participants.
Confidentiality is highlighted; so we’ll simply list here some of the topics that have been discussed so far:
What is sexual orientation? Is it innate or chosen, or a combination? Does being lesbian have to be sexual? Can it be purely romantic (what does that mean?) or emotional?
Can one’s sexual orientation change over time from bisexual to lesbian due to environmental factors such as abuse by men or simply living under patriarchy for a few decades?
Is it hard to call yourself a lesbian; and if so, why? Is denying all sexual access to all men a good place to start this inquiry?
Are there aspects of current lesbian culture that present barriers to new lesbians? For instance, rankings based on purity (i.e., has she ever been attracted to a man) were examined for their similarity to the patriarchal virginity ideology. Present lesbian culture sometimes also promotes the idea that all lesbians are disgusted by all men’s bodies at all times; can you be a lesbian if you are simply disinterested? While gatekeeping by lesbians is understandable given the incursions made by trangenderism, is it also excluding new lesbians? Is actual disgust necessary to justify denying sexual access to all men?
Is transgenderism attractive to some lesbians in part because many women are raised to engage in body dissociation, including by the religious teaching of body/soul dichotomy?
Our coming-out group is providing a space to discuss these questions and more, without the risk of being shut down or excluded if one questions or violates a cultural norm or taboo. If you think you might benefit from it, contact [email protected].
WDI USA Lesbian Caucus
Lauren Levey, coordinator
Mary Ellen Kelleher
Katherine Kinney
Brandi Kochan
A. Schams
